THE MYTH OF SEXUAL PREFERENCES
Words are incredible tools. They allow us to communicate
information, share concepts and ideas, share myths and legends.
Like visual aids, civilization and the human race depend on words.
Myths can be useful and entertaining, but they can also be hurtful
and destructive. One myth that has been horribly destructive
in modern times is the one known as sexual preferences.
Sexual preference is a dangerous myth because it allows people
to believe that bisexuality, heterosexuality, and homosexuality
are chosen behavior patterns. Because of this, intolerant individuals
are able to brand bisexuals and homosexuals as "perverts,"
labeling the behavior as "sins against God and nature."
Equally as alarming, tolerant individuals unwittingly play into
the game of the intolerant by foolishly referring to bisexuality
and homosexuality as being alternative lifestyles - a term that
implies that these folks have a choice. Granted, one can choose
to deny their sexuality, but at a devastating psychological cost.
Time to reveal the truth - bisexuality, heterosexuality, and homosexuality
are not sexual preferences, thus not alternative lifestyles either
(polyfidelity is an alternative lifestyle - it is something one
can choose to do). An individual's sexuality is "hard-wired."
That is to say, it is determined by genes. You are what you
are at birth. Preferences demand choices. I am a heterosexual
male. I do not remember having made any sort of choice about
the matter. I am sexually attracted to women - men do nothing
for me in this regard. I have known many homosexual men and women,
and not a single one of them ever told me that they "chose"
to be gay or lesbian. I have never met someone who revealed themselves
to be bisexual, but I doubt they would tell me anything different
in this regard. One gay individual did tell me to the effect
that "why would any sane person choose a lifestyle that subjects
you to so much naked discrimination and injustice?" Indeed,
who would?
People who refuse to consider the notion that sexuality is genetically
determined are allowing a vicious myth to perpetuate itself, one
that is getting people killed. Religion, unfortunately, has led
the way in this intolerance, wittingly or unwittingly. Gay bashing
has become the modern equivalent of the pogrom. The fundamentalist
Christians who insisted that AIDS was a plague from God to punish
homosexuals certainly have a lot to answer for. Many religious
people are very tolerant and are doing a lot to change the prevailing
intolerant attitudes of our society. However, to even get close
to a permanent solution, the genetic argument is vital. Only
when people realize that they have no more control over their
sexual polarity than they do with their height, skin color, and
eye color, can we ever hope to make a dent in all of this intolerance.
Acceptance of the genetic argument will take sexuality out of
the realm of morality - bisexuality and homosexuality are no more
unnatural, no more moral or immoral, than is having brown hair
and green eyes!
Having said all this, it is not entirely invalid to speak of some
things as indeed being sexual preferences, activities that people
actually choose to engage in. These include whether or not you
are into bondage, water sports, multiple partners, and so forth.
What you find attractive in a sexual partner is definitely a
preference, a choice.
So, my fellow tolerant individuals - take stock of the words you
are using. Sexual preference, as popularly defined, is a dangerous
myth. Nobody chooses to be bisexual, heterosexual, or homosexual
- any more than one chooses to have white or black skin, straight
or curly hair. You really are born that way. So, let us remove
this issue from the morality arguments - it does not belong there!
Think about it!
Ronald C. Tobin
The Thought
P.O. Box 10760
Glendale, AZ 85318-0760
USA
E-mail: hawk5@compuserve.com
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